Twilight Reflections
by Kharina
Summary: Visser Three feeds at dusk after the events of 45, and reflects on his relationship with his dead arch rival, the former Visser One. CLOSET FAN. Contains some spoilers.


**Disclaimer:** All characters that appear in this belong to KA Applegate. I make no profit from this. Lines in italics are lifted directly from the books.

**Author Note:** A Visser Three character study. He may seem slightly OOC. I attribute this to us seeing things from his POV, rather than the POV of his enemies. But whatever you want to call it, I hope this is tastefully done and you still enjoy it. But if you like things to be absolutely rigid to the books, you may dislike this.

Warning: Mild spoilers for #5,#15,#30 and more major ones for Visser and 45.

Dedicated to **Sinister Shadow** for her help and encouragement. And for being the first Closet Fan.

* * *

I galloped. Clods of earth flew up from under my hooves as they absorbed the nutrients in the grass. My slitted nostrils widened as I heaved in the cool night air. But I was not just feeding. I was expressing my anger and pain.

The light was fading, becoming redder as Earth's sun sank below the horizon. It had been a hot day, and a storm was gathering, which was a perfect metaphor for my mood.

I had to slow to a gentle trot. Alloran was not quite the Andalite he used to be, and a speed that before would have taken little out of him now showed its effect quite quickly.

But I paid little attention. My mind was far too horribly focused on the terrible events of that day. I kept seeing a scene, repeating over and over in my mind. A huge, black, hairy foot slamming down on a helpless, wriggling grey Yeerk slug. Only one other casualty among many that day. But a very special one.

She would have died anyway. She was sentenced to death, but the Andalite bandits came to rescue her… or at least to rescue the host. I was unsure why they should be worried; well, it only proved she was a traitor. But then why would they kill her? Was it an accident?

I replayed the scene in my memory. The humanoid, black, hairy creature had stamped on her far too deliberately for it to be considered an accident.

"_It's called a gorilla.'_

My mind went hurtling back to a time when she was superior to me, unsuspected of treason. I had taken the Andalite bandits captive that day. It was a lucky coincidence that she happened to be on the mother ship.

'If you are going to be in charge of Earth, Visser Three, you should at least learn something about the planet.'

The Andalite bandits later escaped. We were arch-rivals back then. I think she let them go, deliberately. But at that time I did not have enough evidence to hold it against her.

(And take a human host body, like you did? No, I think not. Human bodies are weak. I much prefer this Andalite host.)

My memory slid forward to the next time I met her. She had come to Earth to help oversee the transformation of sharks for use as shock troops on Leera.

(Well, I see you've made a mess of things, Visser One.)

The Andalite bandits, true to form, had ruined the attempt.

(Our old friends the Andalite bandits seem to be annihilating most of your troops.)

"_I'd have more troops, but for your interference!"_

I did not understand her swift comeback. What did she mean, my interference? I had, for once, done nothing to attempt to restrict her.

"And if you weren't incompetent and a traitor to the Empire you'd have cleaned these vermin up by now."

Which I would have done, but for her interference. Ironic, isn't it?

(No doubt the Council Of Thirteen will certainly enjoy hearing your excuses for failure.)

I wished strongly now that I had never brought her to the attention of the Council. I'd rather have her alive than be Visser One myself.

(What?) I exclaimed, talking to myself. (I wish I'd missed an opportunity for a promotion? Rather than her being dead?)

(Right, who are you, and what have you done with Visser Three?) Alloran said. It was almost joking.

I shouldn't have said that. He wouldn't give up on it now.

(You've been on Earth too long. Be silent, Andalite. I am Visser One, not Visser Three, for your information.)

I had seen one of the Andalite bandits spare her, and I told the Council of Thirteen she was a traitor. They issued a warrant to kill her on sight.

'So typical of you.'

Again I heard her voice, her strong, in a way beautiful voice, echo through my mind. We had battled. She had found a free Hork-Bajir colony, and high on a peak above their valley we battled.

'You think only of brute violence. Fool.'

Why? Why did it hurt me now to hear her call me a fool? Why did I wish she were still alive so I could show her my true value?

'My ships are making a sensor record. They have recorded this valley, this colony of free Hork- Bajir! What do you think the Council of Thirteen will say when they see it?'

Of course, they never saw it. I destroyed it. I had underestimated her. She had a Nova-class Empire ship for that battle. I do not know how she, a formal traitor, had managed to acquire it. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps I was a fool when compared to her.

An Andalite bandit had pushed her from that high peak, yet she was strong enough to survive her injuries. I found her, and brought her to trial.

I made a great effort to find evidence to incriminate her. And while I was searching, I found something extraordinary.

She had had human children. She had _loved_ them. And she had loved Essam, the Yeerk that she was alone on Earth with. I did not understand why, but had Essam not already been dead I think I would have killed him.

(Jealousy?) Alloran ventured.

Had my thoughts been open to _him?_ I really had to be more careful. And yet… was he right?

(Not jealousy… it was… Essam was a traitor! A traitor!) I snapped, attempting to justify my urge to kill him to myself as well as to my host.

Anyway. Despite the reams of evidence I gathered against her, she still managed to outwit me. We both ended up with a similar fate; death sentences, but suspended. We each had to buy our lives with a planet. Hers, the Anati world. Mine, Earth.

She had failed first, and of course I was ordered to kill her. Slowly, by Kandrona starvation. Yet I was then, despite having pushed so hard for her death, reluctant to kill her. I had grown to admire her courage and strength during the trial, and I held her in high regard.

She did not disappoint me; she was calm on the outside, right up until the starvation was reaching its climax. It pained me to watch her pain, and hear the scorn of her former sub-ordinates. It seemed far too great a sacrifice for me to become Visser One. But I had to kill her. I was ordered to.

When the Andalite bandits rescued the host, and I saw her drop from the ear, I was, secretly, urging her to reach the edge before she was killed. But she never made it.

Now I was more determined than ever to get back at the Andalite bandits, although the suspicion now entered my mind that they were human. Why would Andalites go to all that trouble just to rescue a host?

But Andalites, humans, or whatever they were, I was determined to kill them, and avenge Edriss.

Avenge _my_ Edriss. My love.

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